Would you rather ________ or ________?

As a teenager growing up in an average size southern town, with less than average excitement, my friends and I found ourselves creating our own entertainment. We did a fair amount of building bonfires in open pastures, fishing, shooting aluminum cans with .22's, playing hide-and-go-seek in the woods on mules (the motorized kind), dressing up in random outfits and driving around town pretending to be foreigners....you get the idea. When topics of conversation and gossip ran dry we'd sometimes turn to a game of "Would you rather?"

The concept is very simple and there's no real winner (kinda like truth or dare)...provide two scenarios for the interviewee and they must choose one or the other - no in-betweens allowed. For example, "Would you rather drink urine or eat cow poo?" Some questions were more benign, such as "Would you rather swim in gummy bears or Skittles?" Easy enough.

Three weeks into what I consider to be profound morning sickness (though admittedly, I have no base of comparison), I found myself lying in bed playing this game all alone. Only this time it centered on which items I would rather vomit. Gross, I know, but true. Here are a few that crossed my mind:

-Would I rather vomit rice? Or oranges?

Tough call, but I'm going with oranges. True, they're more acidic, but they're much easier to blow out of your nose once you've vomited through it. Rice just gets stuck and leaves you feeling like you inhaled a bug. Trust me.

-Would I rather barf milk? Or red jello?

Hmmmmm.......milk, I think. Though milk tastes particularly foul coming up, jello is a giant pain-in-the-arse to clean up. I had no idea just how tenacious red gelatin could be until I had to scrub it from the walls, floor, and toilet of the faculty bathroom at work lest anyone should enter it and fear a dead body had just been dragged from a murder scene. That stuff stains something fierce.

-Would I rather yak spaghetti? Or granola?

Hands down granola! Though it can get stuck in your throat, granola doesn't come up looking much like it did when it went down. Spaghetti does, which is gross enough to make you even more sick. Take my word on this one.

I could keep going with questions considering I've spent weeks 5 to present (which is 15) sick and sampled anything that didn't sample me first in effort to find the magic/pallatable combo, but I'm growing nauseous as I type.

Perhaps the toughest "Would you rather?" is inherent to morning sickness itself: Would you rather feel sick all the time, but never barf? Or feel sick at random and get some relief after puking?

I most certainly can't answer that one. Both are miserable. I pray that this game disappears entirely from my list of activities very soon.