Merriam-Webster is constantly adding new words to its dictionary as they arise in the world's lexicon - words like "swag", "f-bomb", and "sexting" just joined the official ranks in 2012.
Side note: What is our world coming to?
Beside the side note: Forgive me for ending the above in a preposition, please. At least I didn't say "swag".
And back to the matter....The dictionary is a great resource that I use frequently in the classroom - it's the ultimate reference tool that teaches kids to search out the answers to their own questions and empowers them.
But I must say, I've been pondering the meaning of one particular word of late, and the dictionary has brought little resolution.
Family.
What is family?
Merriam-Webster defines it as the following:
1) a group of individuals living under one roof and usually under one head
2) a group of persons of common ancestry
3) a group of people united by certain convictions or common affiliation
4) a group of things related by common characteristics
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/family
Not so sure that I agree with Mr. Webster, though.
Over the years, I've come to learn that family is what you make it. It may include relationships that are biologically based, and some that are choice based. Some can even be both!
But, why is it that some of the very people who you feel are guaranteed lifelong members of the family club aren't always the ones who act the most like family should?
What are the rules for family? We're taught that the golden rule applies to the way we should treat "others", so why is it that this rule is typically tossed in true family relations? Why is it that we often treat our "family" like strangers? Or even worse, why do we treat them like enemies? You would think that if the golden rule is appropriate for others, then surely something extra special, like say a platinum rule would be more fitting for someone as special as family, right?
Sadly, the logic I'm using here doesn't always ring true. We often treat our family worse than we do strangers, assuming perhaps that their forgiveness is certain. But the only forgiveness I've heard that comes with a guarantee is the heavenly sort. And the only love and respect I've heard that comes with a guarantee is also of the heavenly sort.
So, I'm challenging myself to redefine the term family in my world. It's a serious task so far, for the black-and-white thinker that I can be, but I'm working on it. Because along with learning that no relationship comes with a guarantee (family or not), I'm learning that many things (alright....most things) are not in my control, but some can be within my choice.
With that in mind, I'm reminding myself that ALL of my relationships can be of choice, whether or not they're rooted in common DNA. And if I choose a relationship, then I naturally choose the effort required to sustain it. And this quote is helping me keep all of this in mind:
"The mark of a true family is not one of blood, but of joy and respect in each other's lives. Members of the same family do not always grow up under the same roof." - Anonymous
