As a base of comparison, here's a pic before I was knocked up...actually the weekend I got knocked up. The hubs and I are on the far right.
Very surprisingly, the bump emerged pretty early...starting around 11 weeks. At this time, I was constantly sick. No real cravings to speak of other than sleep. I was living on Boost vanilla shakes, Sprite and saltine crackers. Zofran was fairly effective during my last pregnancy, but didn't touch the nausea this go round. Phenergan helped keep me from actually vomiting this time, but didn't relieve the nausea itself. Because it made me so drowsy, I was only able to take 1/2 a tablet at a time...except at night, when I would take a 25 mg and pray for a few hours of continuous sleep. I did my best to refrain from taking anything at all, but some days I needed all the help I could get to put my feet into my underwear and make it to work. Around this time, I was prepping for my matron of honor duties in my best friend's wedding to be held on Dec. 15th.
On Dec. 15th at approx. 13 weeks, I managed to make it zipped into my dress, which was ordered long before I was pregnant, and through an entire day of wedding festivities in heels and without throwing up...that is, until I left the wedding and then barfed all over the bottom of my dress in the parking lot. It was fun up until then, though!
Also at 13 weeks, I felt movement for the first time!
On Christmas day, I managed to go an entire 24 hour period without vomiting! It didn't last beyond that day, but the frequency of yakking decreased somewhat - much to my relief.
At 15 weeks, I was ballooned enough in the midsection to have to rubberband my pants with each wear. Throwing up was less frequent, but not completely gone. You could count on me throwing up at least once each day and often more. But it sure beat the constant vomiting that I experienced earlier. And I craved FRUIT around the clock. My progesterone shots began at this point. Ouch.
It was also at this time, that I tried on my first pair of maternity pants. I didn't buy any that day, hoping to put off any purchases until absolutely necessary. But I got my first taste of the "kangaroo pouch".
At 18 weeks, we learned that we are expecting twin girls who are more than likely identical, though this is something we won't know with certainty until after they're born and DNA testing is completed. Truthfully, we probably won't incur the extra expense of testing. What's the point? They're twins. They're girls. What more does the world need to know?
At 19 weeks, cravings weren't something huge, but movement was. I could feel them both move regularly. In fact, they seemed to show dietary preferences already! One loved all things milk, while the other loved all things sugar...hence their silly nicknames of "titty baby" and "sugar baby". Even without strong cravings, I still accepted any donations of fruit. A surprise to me has been my distaste for meat and vegetables - two things which previously dominated my diet.
At 20 weeks, I began to eat much more regularly - waking up in the middle of the night to raid the fridge for huge glasses of milk and strawberries. The girls were both weighing 11 oz. each at that point, and I was measuring 30 weeks! The u/s techs were able to tell us with fair certainty that spina bifida and Downs syndrome could be ruled out. Ultrasound pics showed that the girls had changed positions once again and were lying horizontally in my innards with their feet toward each other's heads. We were even able to see what appeared to be one kicking the other in the head.
Also at 20 weeks, I began playing music for the girls pretty regularly. Their ears have reached their final position and they're able to hear muffled sounds. I read to my students at work, so it's safe to assume they hear me while I'm doing that. But at night, I hook up the head phones and take requests from the hubs - Bob Marley, AC/DC, Ray Lamontagne, & James Taylor have been constants so far. And sugar baby moves to the music more than titty baby does. I really should stop calling her titty baby. Suggestions for another nickname that shows her love of milk?
At 21 weeks, my shots continue on. My cravings are not specific. I just like to eat! Fruit is still a favorite. I'm about 12 lbs. heavier than my average weight. I'm under strict instructions to not do anything other than go to work. I'm doing my best to avoid threats of bed rest by not lifting or pushing anything heavy. Admittedly, sometimes my patience gets the best of me and I do something myself rather than wait for help. Inevitably I'm met with reproach from the hubs. I can notice an obvious difference in my posture and my flexibility. Reaching for items on the ground requires some serious yoga poses. Putting my underwear on is quite the circus act! But the chicas are moving constantly and the hubs can finally see it for himself when I put something on my belly and they make it bounce.
At 22 weeks the musical training continues....I'm trying to expose them to a variety of music. So far, their preference remains hip hop, or so I assume from their kicking. But, trust me, they're getting exposed to lots more than just Ludacris and Outkast. Jim Croce, The Eagles, The Band, Alice 'n Chains, Metallica, Eric Church, Taylor Swift (I'm somewhat ashamed to admit this one), Pink, Florence & The Machine, Adele....you name it. I'm trying to cover the spectrum.
I'm up 15 lbs from the start. Not terribly thrilled about this, but considering I'm still measuring a 30 week preggo, I'd say it's not too bad. The twins are weighing 1 lb and 1 lb 2 oz respectively. They're back to positioning themselves head to head again...at least there won't be any kicking each other in the face for a little while. Cravings aren't specific or bizarre. No midnight requests for pickles and ice cream, Taco Bell or sauerkraut. I still love fruit. I still love chocolate. I'd say the biggest change is that I just think about food more often than I have in the past.
Sleeping without a snack break doesn't happen. I'm up at least once each hour of the night....most frequently for pee breaks that are totally unproductive, a few times for muscle cramps in the craziest of locations (Ever had a cramp in your ankle??? I don't recommend it), and at least once for a glass of milk. Milk has been my favorite beverage by far. But I'm drinking my fair share of coffee each day, too....decaf of course. However, I haven't completely given up caffeine. I'll have the occasional coke. Admittedly, I don't drink enough water. Some, but not enough. Must improve.
The body hair rages on....my stomach officially looks like a kiwi though much less tan. I'm still counting 2 chins, but fear a third is on its' way. My progesterone shots continue on. They're no less painful and no less itchy. I still feel the need to scratch like crazy on the cheeks where I get my shots. Aside from the growing front hump, the most obvious physical difference I've noted is the development of my "side impact air bags" as I like to call them. They're two mounds of fluff I've developed on my sides toward my backside, just behind my hip bones - about where I get my shots. Exactly where I itch like crazy. These two fatty deposits did not exist before my pregnancy and they did not exist before my shots. But they're here now. I hope they disappear after the kids arrive, but if they linger, at least they'll serve as leg rests for the two babies I'll be carrying on my hips.
Perhaps the most notable change is my attitude. I've been fearful (as has the hubs) that the grizzly bear in me would emerge. So far she's still in hibernation mode. I have had moments of moodiness, but they all centered around being sick - I was treated with a 3 day z-pack for some sort of infection a couple of weeks ago. I felt horrible...headache, sore throat, cough, congestion, you name it. No amount of saline neti pot treatments or acetominophen provided any relief. And after several days of feeling badly, I was ill as a hornet. Thankfully, I recognized it well enough in advance and warned the hubs that a grizzly with a mean front hump was on the loose in our house and he might want to consider having another beer with the boys before returning home during my consciousness.
But my attitude has changed in other ways - it seems for the better. I'm getting slightly more enthusiastic about getting to know these 2 little ladies. I'm still cautious and waiting for the rug to be pulled from beneath my feet sometimes. And I'm no less fearful of what the future holds for me and my family. My concerns about premature labor, infants with complications, time lost from work without pay, medical bills, zero knowledge of breast feeding or infant care, etc. loom on. I still worry about those things. But quickly trailing each thought of distress is a replay of my husband's words: "You'll be a great mom, La", "Don't worry, I've got your back. I can change diapers blindfolded", "We will figure it out, babe", "It's just money....they're printing it every day", "We will not be homeless and we will not be hungry, love....the rest is just stuff".
And right behind that replay is a prayer of thanks - thanks that I get to do this with him and not someone else who could so easily cave from the pressure (even though I want to dig a hole somedays and push him in it), thanks that I have an amazing set of parents and family and friends who are thrilled with the new additions and reassure me that this is a blessing and not a burden, thanks that I have maintained my health to date and so have these babies as best we can tell, thanks that somehow, someway we've managed to get by. It hasn't been easy. But somehow we've managed.
In fact, we've been able to purchase (or have donated) the basic baby needs thus far for no more than $200 out of pocket. Heaven forbid I go into labor any time soon. But if I did, it's comforting knowing that we've got car seats and bases, a crib, a dresser, a chest, and a glider so far. We've got enough newborn diapers to get us through a couple weeks. We've got some onesies on standby. We've got enough to get us through the first few days at home before we'd have to run out to the store and get other stuff. The majority of this has been donated by friends and family. The rest, we've purchased at consignment and thrift stores.
And speaking of.....this new baby bargain binge has become quite the adventurous challenge for the hubs and myself. We are determined to see how much we can do to prep for these 2 with the least amount of money. He's in the process now of refinishing the nursery furniture and he's a meticulous man on a mission. It's pretty exciting to watch, I have to admit. Here he is working on the dresser after sanding all of the old paint away.
I guess what I'm learning through all of this is that "everything is going to be okay". It's not going to be easy - it definitely hasn't been so far. And it won't be the same. But it will be okay. With prayer, with the awesome support we've received from family and friends, plus our insane stubbornness as a team, I trust that the hubs and I will figure out how to handle all this...even if it means just controlling the chaos somedays. But some way, somehow, everything will be okay.
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